Mar 11

As I lay flat on my Yoga mat, images of beggars on a damp street of the Friday Pasar malam flashing in my mind. A mother with a one-year-old child on her lap, he was drinking milk while another toddler sitting right beside her. She was digging her foot the time I saw her.

Further up, there is another dark and skinny old man lying on a thin layer of cardboard. He put his palm together to form the prayer sign to passerby for sympathy. Beside him, it was packets of drink given by kind soul. I was going to give each of them a dollar. A gentle voice whispered to me. By the time I came back from all shopping, I left a 50 ringgit note and a one ringgit note. As I was nearer to the old man, I told bb to pass the money to the old man. He did, dropping the one ringgit in his plastic container. The old man shakes his hand hard to thank us. I feel so bad for the man. But then on a second thought, could he be a drug addict waiting for his fix?

The mother again, I was not willing to give away my 50 ringgit. So I looked away and walked passed them. I felt terribly bad for the boy beside her mother. Is he in school? What would he be thinking right now? What if his friend saw him begging with his mother? Would he have very low self-esteem when he grows up? I feel very apologetic for them as I write this. But again is it a syndicate? Is there a mafia watching them from afar? Where is her husband? Do they have home? Where is it? Why can’t she work? She is so young probably about 30 plus. Is life terribly difficult that she has no other solution but begging? Or it’s just an excuse for being lazy? Argh! It is none of my business; I need to get some rest. The time is 2am now. BB is fast asleep on our bed. The clock is stuck at 12:15pm, dead again, this time it is not the battery.

Gosh! Still in the beggar issue, my mind is being stubborn. I have heard about beggar being very rich and frequented uncle Lim’s – Casino. And some even are regular at the goldsmith. Now, How do we judge who is real and who is not? Aiks, it’s only small amount of money you are giving out. But if everyone thinks like that, beggar can be richer than me ler. But really, do you give money to beggars? I am super tired now. My Mind is messed up. ZZZZzzzzzzzzzz!